PDA: It's Better if You Don't
by SigningOff
Summary: Rule number one: Public Displays of Affection are strictly taboo. Rule number two: Ignore rule number one. Arrgh! I spy lemons ahead!


**A/N: So, I have a huge procrastination problem. I've had this story in my head for weeks, and I'm just now writing it out. Anyway, I worked really hard on this one, and the result is a much longer story than you usually get from me! It was freakin' hard writing for that long! Also, it's all human, because that's just the way it worked out. Anyway, enjoy!**

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**PDA: It's better if you don't**

"Where are we going Edward?" Bella asked. Edward was behind the wheel, going much over the speed limit, and wouldn't tell her where they were going.

"You'll see, Bella. Patience is a virtue." Edward smiled.

"Screw virtue." Bella thought. But she kept her mouth shut and waited, patiently.

After about thirty minutes of driving Edward said "Close your eyes Bella. It's a surprise."

Bella closed her eyes, feeling giddy about what was coming next. She felt the car come to a halt and heard Edward take the keys out of the ignition. "Still don't open them, Bella. I'll come get you out." She heard his steps disappear and come around to his side to open the door. She took his hand and climbed out of the car, eyes still shut. Once out of the car, Edward took his hands and covered her eyes. "Okay, okay, Edward when can I look?" Bella said, getting antsy. She heard Edward's low chuckle. He removed his hands.

Bella opened her eyes to see a surprise. What lay before her was an empty playground, complete with swings, slides, rock climbing walls, and swinging bridges. "Oh, wow, Edward, this is so cool. Such a creative idea!" she said, turning around and circling his waist with her arms. "But why here?" she asked, confused.

Edward smiled back at her. "You said you wanted to go somewhere quiet. So here we are." He looked in her eyes and kissed her softly on her lips.

Bella smiled, "Can we go play?" she asked, tugging at his hand childishly.

Edward just smiled as she tugged him over to the swings.

Bella stood in front of the swing and looked at Edward.

"What?" he asked.

"Sit." she demanded.

Edward obeyed, sitting in the swing. Bella plopped down in his lap.

She leaned back, enjoying the clean scent of him."This is so thoughtful, Edward. Thank you." She snuggled closer to him. She loved feeling his warmth, feeling his heart beat against her back. They moved lazily back and forth.

"Anything for you, Bella. I can't imagine myself ever being without you, so I do what it takes to make you happy." He dipped his head forward to kiss her neck.

"Edward, you just being here makes me happy. This is the happiest I've ever been." she whispered.

After a few more minutes of swinging that wasn't actually swinging, and whisperings of sweet nothings, Bella shivered. She felt Edward's hand slip softly under her shirt, rubbing her stomach just above the belly button. She turned around and kissed him fully on the lips. She ran her tongue along his bottom lip, asking for entrance. Edward obliged and gripped her closer. He breathed in deeply, smelling the scent of her; her shampoo and perfume and just the smell of her skin enticed him.

He pulled away. "Get up for a minute Bella." he ordered. She looked at him confused, but got up anyway.

"Let's go." he said, tugging her hand. "Wait a minute, where are we going?" she asked, following him.

"Another surprise." he whispered, pulling her along.

He led her up kiddie sized plastic steps, to a walkway connecting to pieces of equipment. He sat down and smiled slyly up at her.

"What are we doing here Edward?" Bella said, sitting next to him.

"We're sitting down so we can make-out in comfort." he explained.

Bella smiled at him. "Sounds good to me." she said, kissing him.

It wasn't long before they were lying down on the walkway. Edward kissed just below her ear as his hand snaked up her shirt. Bella moaned as she held Edward closer to her. Edward took this as his signal and reached down to the button of her jeans. He had gotten them unbuttoned and unzipped before Bella seemed to realize what was happening.

"Wait a second, Edward!" she said, realization dawning on her. He looked at her questioningly. "We're in a public place! We can't do anything over PG-13!"

Edward laughed. "Bella, how many kids do you know that are begging their parents to take them to the park at 11:00 at night?"

Bella hesitated, "Well, none, but what if--"

Edward placed a finger on her lips. "Bella, no one is going to come up here. We're perfectly fine." He stroked one finger on the outside of her undies. "Besides, you know you want to."

Bella knew he was right, she did want to, pretty dang badly. Bella hesitated one more second before making up her mind and wrapping her arms around his waist to bring him closer.

Edward chuckled as he leaned back, breaking her grip. He looked into Bella's eyes as her pulled her jeans and undies down at the same time. She stared back with a look of lust. He crawled over her to kiss her lips. Edward felt the tightness of anticipation in her muscles.

Bella whispered his name as she pulled him closer. Edward stroked her once, teasing her. "Edward," Bella moaned, "stop playing around!"

Edward smiled at her. "Well, we are on a playground." He couldn't resist the chance to make a lame joke.

"Hardy har har." Bella said. Edward kissed her neck. He dipped two fingers into her. Bella arched her back and moaned. It felt as if all her nerve ending were on fire. Bella turned so she could kiss his lips. Edward decided to up the pleasure and circled her clitoris with his thumb. Bella arched forward quickly. "Oh god, Edward, don't stop" She grunted against his lips, in mid-kiss.

Edward obliged, and made his motions faster. Bella could barely form coherent words as her fingernails slid across the plastic of the bridge. Edward moved his fingers skillfully, bringing her quickly to orgasm. Bella let out a loud scream as his fingers finally brought her to orgasm. Bella writhed under him, every muscle in her lower half clenching and unclenching rhythmically.

Bella let out a low moan as her orgasm finally subsided. She lay there, to tired to move a muscle or even open her eyes, which had been screwed shut.

Edward removed his fingers and sat back, watching her chest rise and fall with her slowing breaths. After a long while, she opened one eye to look at him.

"That has got to be the most mind blowing orgasm you have given me with just your fingers." she said, her voice still sounding strained.

"Well, my fingers have been known to work magic." he smiled. Edward had to admit, he did like seeing that he could change Bella into a quivering mass of jelly with just his hands.

Bella sat up quickly. "Oh, you think this is funny?" she looked at him, with a mischievous glint in her eye. Edward's chuckle died down into a sly smile. He knew that Bella could do just about the same thing if she wanted.

"Uh, no, I don't think it's particularly funny...." he said, watching her.

"I'll show you, Edward. You won't even be able to walk straight when I'm finished with you." she whispered. She sat up, pushed him back, and straddled him. She leaned forward to kiss him, grinding her hips against him. She heard a low moan in the back of his throat.

"If you like that, then you'll definitely like this." she said, moving down his body. She undid his belt quickly, and pulled down his jeans.

"In a hurry, aren't you?" Edward smiled at her. She saw the tenting in his boxers.

"Well, it looks like you're enjoying yourself, so shut up." she teased. She opened the fly of his boxers, and little Edward sprung out.

Bella felt him stiffen a little as she licked up the shaft. She watched his face as she slowly took him into her mouth. Edward's face was contorted in ecstasy. She alternated between slow motions and faster motions.

Before long she heard Edward's strained voice call out "I don't think I can last much longer Bella." Bella could tell by the stiffness of his muscles that he was close. Bella was so concentrated on her job that she had tuned out her surroundings. That's why she jumped a mile when a bright light shone in her eyes.

"What are you kids doing up here—oh my god." said the police officer who had shone the light in Bella's eyes.

"Oh my god." Bella thought as she rushed to find something to cover her still naked lower half with. Edward's eyes darted from Bella to the officer who had turned his back on the scene.

"You kids get your clothes on now!" the officer barked as he walked a few steps away.

Edward scrambled to put his jeans back on, throwing Bella's clothes to her. "Oh my god." was the only thought running through all three peoples' minds.

"Edward, you said nobody would show up!" Bella whispered furiously to him.

"Well, I wasn't counting on the Park Ranger!" Edward whispered back. They stepped down from the bridge and went to face the officer.

"Just what were you kids doing?" the officer barked at them both.

Bella averted her eyes, not able to look him in the eyes. Edward gripped her hand reassuringly.

The officer realized what he'd said and turned red. "I- I mean, what in the world would make you think this was a good idea?" He asked.

Bella and Edward both stumbled over their words, trying to think of something not stupid to say.

"You know what, nevermind, I'm taking you both down to the station." the officer said.

"Are you arresting us?" Bella looked at him with wide, scared eyes.

"Just get in the car, I'll decide that when we get there." The officer barked at her.

"Wait, what about my car?" Edward said, looking sadly at his car as he marched to the backseat of the cruiser.

"Well, you should have thought about that before you decided to get naked on public property." he said matter-of-factly. He opened the door and watched Bella and Edward slide into the backseat of the car.

As the officer got in the front and drove off he called through the grille, "I could very well arrest you both for public indecency!"

Bella whimpered as the first tears slid down her cheeks. "Oh god, Edward, we're getting arrested!" she said to him.

Edward held her hand. "No, not yet." He said, trying to sound reassured.

"Not yet?! You're supposed to say were not going to!" she yelled at him.

The ranger interrupted them. "If we can release you to a responsible adult, I won't charge you."

"Oh my god, what if Charlie finds out? What if this man is friends with Charlie?! Oh my god, I don't even want to think about what would happen." Bella said.

Edward squeezed her hand again and tried to think of a way out of their predicament.

Finally, they pulled up at the police station. The officer got up to let them out. He led them into the building and put them in a small room with a table and some chairs. "I'm not going to put you into a cell. But you've got one phone call, got that? If no one is here in an hour to get you, I'm booking you and you're spending the weekend!"

Bella sat in a chair and watched the officer walk down the hall. She seemed to have a case of the extreme jitters. Actually, she just seemed to be having a mental breakdown.

"Look, Bella, I'm going to make our phone call so you won't have to call Charlie. I'll be right back." Edward said, gripping her hands and looking into her eyes. She watched him go.

"Oh my god, this must be where they question actually murderers!" Bella cried to herself. She wrung her hands.

Down the hall somewhere she heard the same officer's voice, "Yep, caught some kids down at Blueberry Park." She heard another voice, this one unfamiliar. She figured it must be another police officer. "Jeez, some more? We get a new couple at least every month. You'd think those crazy kids could keep their hands off of each other for a while!"

Bella sat for another few minutes before Edward returned. "How'd it go?" Bella asked.

"Someone's coming to get us." Edward replied.

"Thank goodness! How did Carlisle take it?" She asked.

"Um, I didn't call Carlisle...." Edward drug out.

"What? Then who did you call?" Bella asked, panicked.

"You'll see."

Bella looked at him, a little ticked off. "The last time you said 'You'll see' is when we got into this mess!"

Edward sighed, "Just wait, Bella."

About twenty minutes later, they both heard the officer coming down the hall again. "They're right this way. I told them if I could release them to an adult, I wouldn't charge them." Bella recognized the voice that came next. "Well, I'm that adult! Where are the little troublemakers?"

Bella went pale. "Oh my god, you called Emmett?!"

Edward held his head in his hands, looking very tired. "He was the first one I thought of. And legally, he's an adult."

Bella was speechless as the officer came into the room, leading a very amused looking Emmett.

"Hey Bells!" Emmett said, noticing her awkwardness. "So what are they in for, officer? Edward here wouldn't tell me on the phone."

The officer cleared his throat. "Well, uh, public indecency."

Emmett raised his eyebrows.

"When I found them, uh, the young lady was naked from the waist down and the young man was, uh, receiving, ahem, oral sex from the girl." the officer finished, blushing.

The room rang with Emmett's laughter.

Edward refused to look up and Bella stared at the wall. They were both extremely red.

"Oh my gosh, man, you're kidding me! At the park? Little Mr. Old fashioned? And his hot-n-tot girlfriend? Oh, oh man. That is hilarious!" Emmett laughed heartily, clutching at his stomach.

"Well, uh, yes. If you all follow me this way, you can sign for them and they can leave."

The officer led them to the front desk, Emmett right behind him (still laughing quietly), Bella in the middle, and Edward bringing up the rear.

The officer showed Emmett where to sign and said, "I don't want to see this happening again. If it does, we'll charge them, no questions asked."

Emmett signed the paper. "Oh yes, sir! Never again, I promise you!" he turned to Edward and Bella. "You guys go on out to my car, I have some business to talk about."

Edward and Bella went out to Emmett's jeep, both sitting in the backseat. They sat quietly before Bella said, "Emmett. Emmett knows exactly what happened. I will never hear the end of this. I'll be in my 60s and he'll still bug me about it."

Edward stared ahead, listening, before he let out a small chuckle. Bella looked at him like he was insane.

"You have to admit, the whole situation is kinda funny."

Bella smiled. "Yeah, maybe just a little bit. But still a lot more horrifying than funny."

They were both still laughing when Emmett got in the car. "Oh my god, man. This whole situation is hilarious!" he said, adjusting the mirrors.

"Maybe not hilarious...." Bella said under her breath.

"Oh man, whose idea was it? Where'd you even get the idea? And Edward, were you so into it that you didn't hear the car pull up, the door open _or_ slam, _or_ the officer approach?" Emmett teased.

Edward said nothing.

They were driving back to the park so Edward could get his car before Bella shouted suddenly, "Oh my god, what if that officer tells somebody? It will definitely get around to Charlie! What are we going to do???"

Edward rubbed her arm. "Don't worry, we'll think of something."

Emmett interrupted Edward, saying "Don't worry, Bells! I took care of it!"

Edward looked at the back of Emmett's head. "And just how exactly did you do that?"

Emmett sighed, "Well, I bribed him of course. It took 2000 dollars."

"What?!" Bella and Edward screamed at the same time.

"Well, you didn't want Charlie to find out did you?" Emmett said defensively.

"Where'd you get that much money?!" Edward asked, alarmed.

"Well, first I had to find a 24 hour ATM machine. Then I had to take all that money out of the family bank account. It was pretty hard. I was hungry and could have stopped for a cheeseburger." Emmett explained.

"But won't Carlisle or Esme notice 2000 dollars gone out of the account?" Edward asked.

"Well, you'll just have to explain that you were both taken to the police station for having oral sex in a public park and had to bribe the police officer so he wouldn't blab about it." he said.

"Shit!" Edward and Bella said together.

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**A/N: So, here it is! I worked really hard on this, so ANY feedback would be greatly appreciated! Um, I believe Emmett is at least eighteen. Wikipedia said he was 20 when he was changed, so I just went with that. Uh, so, I guess that's it! You should click the little button in the corner that says review, or add to favorites, because it makes me happy! Anyway, I hope you liked it!**


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